what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
