Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize