The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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