I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I understand Curling. That high.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize