dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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