so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
