Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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