her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize