what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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