So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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