she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
dude. I can hear the air.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
