Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
