yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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