I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
