Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
