The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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