the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
