i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
