I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
