Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
