and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
