Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
