My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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