Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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