Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
