are you so shy because you have an std?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
