when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
