My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A+ Viking dick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
