Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
