Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
where am i from again
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
