the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
