oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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