I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
