I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
