I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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