The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
