I just pynch a tree in the face
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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