i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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