just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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