I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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