Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
