im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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