I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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