butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
