Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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