I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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