i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
