but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
