I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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