we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
