Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
