I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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