Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
