HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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