remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
