Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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