dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Welp...herpes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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