I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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